Archive: Yes
Author: Sasha (tanor@beotel.yu)
Title : Angel of Mine
Parts One-shot
Summary: Just little introspective
Author notes: I saw that this one had node to the archive so I have reposted it. It has beed beta read by Yanslana yanslana@yahoo.com, to whom I thank for the effort.
Feedback is always welcome.

There's nothing quite like the smile of a fallen angel.

A soft smirk of cruelty, combined with a grin of arrogance, and utter disdain for all other living things, encompassed in heaven's beauty.

A smile that says "I am the best, and there's nothing you can do about it".

A grin that shows he is the predator and everything else is the prey. A smirk that simply conveys that there is no need to kneel before him, because there is no hole deep enough to show how far beneath him you are; how unworthy you are of that smile.

One glance of that smile and I was trapped.

But then, I needed that.

I walk alone. I have always walked alone, without direction or purpose.

Before him, I merely existed. Now I have something to live for. Revenge? Obsession?

He's perfection made flesh. The best of darkness and light met within him.

He's cruel when he's at his most kind, yet innocent in his cruelty. He can condemn you with a few words, but it's you who condemn yourself. For he only speaks the truth as he sees it, not the judgment. He never judges. He accepts people as they are, and often shows them the truth about themselves.

It is not he who hurts them. They hurt themselves with the lies they whisper in their own ears.

He is my jailer and my enemy. Yet it was I who forged the chains that bind me.

Do I love him or hate him?

I do not know. Perhaps, to understand one's self is the greatest wisdom.

I do not claim to have achieved it. I only know what I feel for Akane or Akari pales in comparison to what I feel for him. When I cry to the heavens, it is his name I shout. When I am lost in unknown regions, it is his image that gives me strength. He's my salvation and damnation, my fall and redemption.

Everything I do, I do for him.

Sometimes I think I play the part of P-chan just to annoy him. Let him love me or hate me, so long as he does not ignore me.

I attack, craving touch and attention, even as I know that I have no chance of winning. I scour the earth for new martial arts techniques, just to keep his attention for a few days.

Sometimes, I hope that when I defeat him, I will finally be free.

Sometimes that is my biggest fear; I am not sure I wish for freedom.

The world is a dark and lonely place, and he is my only light within.