{lyric wheel fic} Bury Me Softly
part 1/1
Author: M Moneure're
warnings: angsty, semi-dark, lime
pairing: Ryouga x Ranma
Summary: Ryouga reflecting on his endless returns to Nerima
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters or lyrics, not making any money, etc.
Archive: yes
C&C: yes!

Notes: Complete lyrics will follow fic. Yes, the "summary" up above sucked.

More notes: M has been spending too much time reading Tokyo Babylon. Also, all my "strange" pieces of original fiction seem to cluster around 600 words or so. Well, it's carrying over into my fanfic...this storyitself, not counting the title and the word "end" (or any of the notes, formatting, etc.), comes to exactly 600 words. But they're well-chosen words, I hope, after the time I put into this...

Bury Me Softly part 1/1

"I don't know anymore what's real and what's the dream. I don't even know where *he* ends and the rest of the world starts."

The words on the page seemed so solid to Ryouga, his own unsteady handwriting comfortably familiar. The pen, also, seemed real. Both were probably outside of himself.

The soft fall of ten thousand grains of sand on his head, he was less certain of.

He could know when it began, at least. When they had first met, in junior high school. It had been a rivalry then, nothing more to either of them. For years, that was all it was, until sometime along the way...

Being unable to remember when Ranma had begun to mean something more to him was unsettling, somehow.

"I get lost, I wander away. But I always end up back here. I can't escape this place. I can't get away from *him*."

Tokyo looked different from high up in the night sky. One million flashes of light traced the contours of its streets, weaving and meshing in their chaos. A labyrinth to turn Ryouga's sense of direction around on itself, to lose him for months at a time in its streets.

No, not a labyrinth. A web. A web woven by a mad spider, with Ryouga the fly struggling to escape its illogical twists and back roads. Extending beyond the city; from the edges of the earth, the Tokyo-web could yet pull Ryouga back in. No escape could be forever.

Of course, the spider, weaver of Tokyo, would never rest in the bright lights of the center, warning to passing prey. The spider sits nearer the edges. The spider sits in Nerima.

And Ryouga sat - maybe - in his hole, sand still cascading down as he wrote.

"I want to be inside you again, Ranma. Inside the warmth...inside everything."

He could still see Ranma's face, from that first time. The triumphant spider's consideration of his fly, even as he engulfed him. Surrounded him in that warmth...

And Ranma was Ryouga's mother than, as well as his captor. Winding silken threads around Ryouga's mind, saying "It will always be this way, Ryouga. I'll always possess you, always enclose you, always hold you." And Ranma was the warmth, and the surrounding presence, his kisses raining down on Ryouga, wrapping him in the cocoon of their certainty. "It will always be this way, Ryouga, always as my own body, not the female one. I'll always be honest with you when we're like this."

Through it all, Ryouga's mind swam spirals, a mantra of completion working its way around over and over; "bury me now that I'm happy, bury me here, bury me softly in this womb," and the silken threads of Ranma's web were wrapped around him, were his womb, even as Ranma's own body enclosed his need, taunting him towards climax.

Had he ever left that moment? Buried within the spider's threads, within Ranma, finally condemned to return always to Tokyo in his mind.

To be buried in Ranma.

Sand fell soft all around him and drifted to his knees.

Was this the burial of his free will? His mind, his soul, buried in the sand of his own uncertainties.

It was all true, somehow...his mind knew only Ranma, now, and this was his fate.

To be buried in Ranma.

To be buried in this womb, this web, this Tokyo of the mind.

"Bury me softly in all that you are, Ranma, and I'll be content. I'll let my mind leave me...if that's what it means to be with you."

To be buried in Ranma.

- end -

Artist: Alice In Chains
Album: Dirt
Song Title: Down In A Hole

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb
Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You don't understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who won't let himself be
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied
Down in a hole and they've put all
The stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
of my feelings beneath
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, outta control
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied